Black Fatherhood: Reconnecting With
Our Legacy (Trailer)
BLACK FATHERS GET YOUR SONS
Judge Mathis :The problem in the Black
Community is Deadbeat Black Fathers
International Kidnapping Inspires
- Parental Lessons
Estranged Spouses Must Put Children First, Father Says; Offers Tips
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In his wedding pictures taken during the 1980s, Steve Fenton is on top of the world. He’s a handsome American newlywed with a sly smirk on his face, about to drink a toast with his beauty queen wife in a traditional wedding in Xalapa, Mexico.
Eight years later, the rising tension begins in this real-life, Hollywood-styled drama, detailed in his new book, Broken Treaty (www.BrokenTreaty.info).
He became estranged from his wife Silvia, but allowed her to take their son, Stephen, 6, on a two-week trip to her native Mexico in December 1992. More than four, frantic weeks later, he found out Silvia had enrolled their son in a school there, quit her job in California and had no plans of coming back.
“I know a lot of mothers down here who have done this same thing with no problems,” she told him over the phone.
Fenton also spoke with his son during that call, and could tell the boy was close to tears.
“He wanted to come back home to his friends, his school and a model submarine project we were working on,” he says. “Silvia hung up the phone shortly thereafter.”
He pursued the Hague Convention Treaty, an international accord signed by Mexico the previous year, to return his son. A year later, although adamantly assured by both Mexico and the U.S. State Department that his son would be returned to his birth country, Fenton saw that his only hope would be to leave diplomats to their own devices. He began quietly engineering a complex plan to bring his son home to California.
Fenton grew his hair and a beard and donned sunglasses and a hat to disguise his appearance. He hired a pilot and others to help in the extraction of his son from southeastern Mexico. After spending tens of thousands of dollars and risking his life with no guarantee of success, he landed back on U.S. soil – with Stephen.
But while the action movie portion of the story ends here, another saga – single-parenthood – would begin. He offers tips that, despite his unique circumstances, apply to all divorced parents.
• It’s not about you. Although Fenton’s heroics to recover his son on foreign soil were life-changing, the mission’s purpose was to provide young Stephen with a better life. That meant giving his son the opportunity to continue his relationship with the mother who abducted him.
• “No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.” That’s the second-to-last chapter title in Fenton’s book. Initially, he took his son to visit his mother at the border, where they two were separated by a tall chain-link fence. He asked authorities to reduce charges against her when she came back to the states, so that his son could continue to have a meaningful relationship with her. His reward – Silvia was perpetually taking Fenton to court for child custody and child support, though she was court-ordered to repay him $51,000 for the rescue mission.
• Forgiveness is ultimately rewarded. Fenton’s second marriage broke up because of the stress on his family from his first wife’s actions. He was reprimanded by his lawyer for putting himself in a compromising situation. But the doting father got the affirmation he was looking for during a lunch with his then-22-year-old son. Stephen spelled out his gratitude for his father’s instincts and actions. “Fourteen years after brining my son home, he helped me understand that I could look ahead and realize that we’d both finally made it home,” Fenton says.
About Steve Fenton
Steve Fenton is a specialty building contractor. After his estranged wife spirited their son, an American, away to Xalapa, Mexico, the father decided he had to take action. With little to no help from the U.S. and Mexican governments after a year and a half, the determined father went on a clandestine recovery mission across the border. What ensued were life-changing events that have defined the lives of father and son. His book was written with some technical assistance from Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, the pilot who would later become a national hero after safely landing U.S. Airways Flight 1549 in the Hudson River.
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An Anointing Message To Fathers for 2012 by William Jackson, M.Ed.
Going into the new year Pastors, Bishops, Apostles, Priests and
others of religious faiths should pray over all fathers. Now more than
ever in history do we need spiritual guidance, wisdom and protection.
I’m a father, educator and mentor, I want to inspire and motivate fathers, step-fathers,
grandfathers, fathers to be, divorced fathers and even absentee fathers, men who are
guardians: to be the best men their families, children, communities, and churches need.
Difficult times and many challenges are around us; spiritually, economically, educationally,
environmentally and politically.
As men we should be taking the lead in the direction to move to care for our loved ones,
our communities and supporting our churches. Fathers have a historical responsibility and
spiritual accountability to place our families above our personal needs. We cannot nor
should not be selfish in our love for family, devotion to God, giving to community and
mentoring to youth. These things as men we should pray and act on to improve ourselves.
1. Fathers, should go to Jesus in prayer and pray with their children and families. Leading
prayer as the leader of the household.
2. Fathers, make mistakes, but own up to them and correct the mistakes they have made.
Working not to repeat them and modeling responsibility.
3. Fathers, discipline their children with love and not with physical violence, verbal degradation
or emotional manipulation.
4. Fathers, take their children/families to church and bible study to receive the Word of God
and meditate on these words to empower, inspire and strengthen the family unit.
5. Fathers, are not perfect and should not try to be perfect, ask God for wisdom, direction and
discernment.
6. Fathers, don't blame others for their weakness, but work to strengthen themselves
in the Word of God through prayer and reading of scripture.
7. Fathers, will not "follow the guys" when they are disrespecting women, this sets an
inappropriate and dangerous model for their sons to follow.
8. Fathers, don't block their children's anointing with ungodly actions and modeling that may
be repeated by their children as they mature into adults.
9. Fathers, ask for discernment to recognize the signs of trouble, chaos and confusion
before they happen.
10. Fathers, model respect for the spirit of the church and church representation.
11. Fathers, lead grace/prayer at meal time and anoint their children with oil.
12. Fathers, should be able to purchase their daughters personal items and be
proud in doing so. Setting a standard of respect, pride and responsibility for the
young lady he protects and loves.
13. Fathers, promote education in the household. Reading should come before video
games, television or play time.
14. Fathers, talk to their children about drugs and sex before the street or television does.
15. Fathers, do not whine about what "HIS" daddy did not do for him, but follow a model
indicative of Godly men and accountability.
16. Fathers, do not blame where he came from for his short-comings. He focuses on
where he is going in a positive direction.
17. Fathers, takes time to visit their children's school and talk to teachers about their
children's progress, strengths, and challenges.
18. Fathers, will happily sacrifice for their family, showing how God’s love sacrificed
for all of us.
19. Fathers, accept responsibility for their children's actions. Remembering that
“the apple does not fall far from the tree.” Fathers recognize and work to stop
generational curses so a new and positive direction is made for his children.
20. Fathers, will visit their children and spend time with them even though he
may not be present in the home. A true father takes responsibility for a life that
they helped create and a true mother/woman allows the father to do this and
puts her feelings aside to allow a father to be a father.
21. Fathers, aren't afraid to show love to their children, children still need reinforcement
that they are loved and respected by their father. Love cannot be bought, bartered,
compromised, sold, exchanged. Love is a action word and actions speak louder than
words.
22. Fathers, spend time just being together with their children and doing things their
children like and will remember doing.
23. Fathers, teach your child to be responsible and accountable for their actions. Not to
blame others for their actions or think they are owed anything. Respect is always
earned.
24. Fathers must teach and model respect to women for their sons and respect to men
by their daughters. Sex must be taken seriously not as a game, violence is not
acceptable by men or women. Fathers must lead in the understanding of this.
25. Fathers must teach respect, honor, and fear of the Lord.
Quote:
A truly humble man is sensible of his natural distance from God; of his dependence
on Him; of the insufficiency of his own power and wisdom; and that it is by God's power
that he is upheld and provided for, and that he needs God's wisdom to lead and guide
him, and His might to enable him to do what he ought to do for Him.
Edwards, Jonathan
The articles on this website are provided for information purposes only. BlackRefer.com does not accept any responsibility or liability for the use or misuse of the article content on this site or reliance by any person on the site's contents.
No Implied Endorsement:
BlackRefer.com does not endorse or recommend any article on this site or any product, service or information found within said articles. The views and opinions of the authors who have submitted articles to BlackRefer.com belong to them alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of BlackRefer.com.
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