They are described as some of the most affluent areas in the country for up and coming blacks. They are the suburbs and they are located all across America. The suburbs are comprised of luxury town homes, condominiums, and single family houses. They are places where professional blacks now live, Prince Georges county Maryland, and the outskirts of Chicago, Birmingham and Atlanta. Suburbs are the escape from the violence of city life where successful blacks go to prove to themselves and the world that they have finally attained the American Dream. But what is the American Dream? Like most things in an America, it must be different for blacks (even those who have made it) than for whites (even those who have not). It is perceived by us as having the ability to move into nice neighborhoods, to drive luxury cars, to have cash in the bank, to wear designer clothes, and to send our kids to good schools. Ironically, for an increasing number of black families, the move to such neighborhoods around the country has been a nightmare and not a dream.

I am not saying that blacks who have been deprived of many things in this life should not aspire to attain the dream we all dream, the dream that Dr. King spoke so eloquently of in one of the most famous speeches of our time. It is reality however, that in striving for our dream we should not forget from whence we came. Too many of us who have made it to the point of being comfortable, forget about those we left behind, about those who blazed the wilderness of inequality that opened the path to the door of opportunity. My grandmother often used the old saying “the same folk you pass or step on as you climb the ladder to the top, will be the same folk you will pass on the long way down to the bottom”.

Come back in time with me and remember how much you smiled when we were colored. We smiled not because we were like Steppin Fetchin but because we were happy and rich in community. We looked out for each other and we shared that which we had with those who had less. As we approach the holiday season, I want us to give our children a gift of our past that was so special, so safe, so full of pride, so full of love and so full of hope.

We need to instill in our children the heritage of their blackness. We must help them to develop a work ethic at an early age. We must discipline them by saying no to material things so that they appreciate the importance of the non-material things in life. We must teach then that the riches of life are people, relationships, respect, honor, dignity, pride and love. We must teach them about the beauty of their features and of the brilliance of their minds. We must tell them that they are descendants of kings and queens and that their ancestors were scientists, scholars, mathematicians, engineers and doctors.

As parents we must adopt a mantra that “some struggle is good, some hard work is necessary, some patience is mandatory, some restraint is needed and some sacrifice builds character.”

Let us stop blaming others for our mistake of committing the misdemeanor of “giving too much”. A good parent always wants their child to have more than they had and they want them to struggle less to achieve more. As a result of wanting more for them, we give them to much of the material things in life. Let us make them work for some of those material things so that they have the opportunity to appreciate the fruits of that labor. Let us take a vow to help our children not just for their future but for our own. Let us show them by example the value of saving and investing. Let us show them how to be independent and not dependent.

As we celebrate the holiday season and move forward into a new year, let us remember our holidays past and the delicious smell and taste of grandmothers sweet potato pie. Let us remember that though apple pie is good too, Sweet potato pie is cheaper to make, is richer in color and fuller of life’s spices. Please pass me another slice of sweet potato pie.


About the Author
Anelsa is the pen name of Frequita Slade, a native of Apopka, FL. Her pen name is the backward spelling of the first name of her maternal grandmother, Aslena Burdeaux Williams, her guardian, mentor and life-long inspiration.

Passionate about her own roots and about the decay of the black family structure, Anelsa recorded her autobiographical memoirs and reflections in her first book, Colored Girl, in 2006. Her second book, Swallow, is scheduled for release in fall 2008.

Anelsa uses the podium and the pen to explore the black experience and the human experience in all of its manifest forms. Dressed in period clothing, Anelsa takes her audiences back a time, when we were family, when we were united, when we had respect, when we loved each other; a time when we were at our best; a time when we were colored.

To book Anelsa for a speaking engagement contact: Kenya Management, tel: 334 618 0984 , e-mail: acoloredgirl@aol.com