Fathers, use the upcoming new year to make more of a commitment to your families. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone so as fathers we must make every effort to build a stronger relationship with our children, but as men we must take the lead in this commitment of family and community. Speaking to yourself in the “I” statement makes the wording significantly personal and establishes more of an accountable role that you are making in the lives of your children and your families.

1. “I will tell my children that I love them and I will tell them why”. Just telling your children that you love them in not enough. Children need to know the reasons for things, this allows them to process information which directs their actions, reactions and feelings. “I love you because….”

2. “I will tell my children that I believe in them and I will tell them why”. Children sometimes have the misconception that only their peers believe in them and their abilities. Consistent and firm reinforcement is always needed by teens and young adults from the parents in their lives.

3. “I will tell my children that I have high expectations for them”. If children know where you stand then they have a direction or goal to work towards. Don’t make your expectations to high or to demanding or based on what you want to do with your live or were not able to do. Do not live your life through your children.

4. “I will tell my children that I respect them and value them”. Teens and young adults often demand respect, but must be taught how to give respect in order to receive it.

5. “ I will teach my children that God loves them and why”. When talking to your children about God’s love don’t get too religious, but keep it simple and relevant to their lives. Don’t preach at your children, but talk to them about God’s love.

6. “I will teach my children why we go to church”. Children will be more attentive to attending church if they understand why they go to church instead of just telling them to go. Don’t underestimate their intelligence and their feelings about Church.

7. “I will teach my children the power and purpose of prayer”. Children may not understand now about the importance of prayer, but pray with them and guide their prayer life as they mature.

8. “I will teach my children that as their parent or guardian they are my responsibility”. Children need to understand their actions reflect their home upbringing. God has entrusted their life and their learning in your hands. You, as an adult male are answerable to God for their upbringing.

9. “I will be honest with my children that I’m are not infallible and do make mistakes”. You can both teach each other about life and that everyday is an opportunity to learn something new. Learning does not always happen in the schoolhouse.

10. “I will teach my children to respect themselves”. If you can’t respect yourself then how can you respect others?

11. “I will teach my children the importance of an education”. Don’t bore your children with statistics or empirical data about future jobs and careers. Emphasis that learning is everyday and important to the survival of oneself and their families.

12. “I will let my children know I will visit their school to check on their academic and behavioral progress”. Fathers play an important part in their children’s success in school and life.

13. “I will tell my children that I will discipline them with love, and fairness”. That is part of my job as a parent. I will correct them when they are wrong and disrespectful, but do it with love.

14. “I will make sure my children know that I’m are not their buddy, pal, friend, homey or dog”. This causes problems later on as they mature because children will interpret that they are your equal instead of you being the parent when you tell them what to do.

15. “I will be open and honest with my children about sex and drugs and what my expectations are”. Don’t be in denial about your child’s sexual activity or if they are using or have used drugs. Keep the lines of communication open and don’t pass judgment on your children if they are sexually active or have taken drugs.

16. “As a father I must remember I model for my children”. If you act like a thug, disrespectful, hateful, un-Godly and go against the laws and rules of society so will your children. The apple does not fall far from the tree so don’t blame or offer excuses for your child’s behavior.

17. “I will not attempt to be perfect, hip, tight, cute, ghetto, sexy or something I’m not”. Your intended projection of a behavior will not be received by your children. The end result is that you end up looking like a fool in your child’s eyes. So always come correct and be yourself.

18. “I will teach my children Gods way to go, the best that I can”. Doing your job as a parent is not always glamorous, peaceful, fun or heavenly, but at times filled with challenges that require prayer, praise, patience and forgiveness. Always talk to your children and interact with them. If you don’t then someone else is waiting outside your home that will. Not everyone has your child’s best interests at heart.

William Jackson
william.jackson@ewc.edu
(c) Copyright William Jackson 2007.  All rights reserved.