The progression of divorce forces men a starting over, seeking a new beginning, and requiring rebuilding relationships with children, renewing their spirituality, and the redirection of personal priorities in life. No matter what cultural background, maturity range, salary scale or religious conviction, divorce can be overwhelming, demeaning, financially draining (especially if you are proving child support and or alimony), and an emotional roller coaster that never seems to end. In Matthew 6:33 states, “…seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness…”, when searching for direction and purpose through this challenging time the best guide is the reading of the Bible and seeking understanding of the Word. The reading and interpretation can refocus your life, redirect your spirituality in scriptures and provides comfort and solace. Having gone through divorce it forced an understanding on what I need to improve in myself, not focusing on the faults or shortcomings of others. The thoughts and emotional turmoil of blame, anger, self-pity, shame and defeatism have been discarded and are distant memories. As a divorced father I questioned how can I move on with my life, amplify my spirituality as a Christina man and still be in my children’s lives being a positive force, these are my focus points.

This Fathers Day instead of focusing on you as a father refocus on the responsibilities of being a father. Renewing and recharging the commitment and covenant you have with your children. Children are a blessing from God as written in Psalm 127:3, thus with this knowledge, our children being blessings from God we as men and fathers have a responsibility to be a part of our children’s lives and accept them as precious blessings from God our heavenly father. Children are not commodities to be traded, fought over, or bargained for. Their well being should be placed first during this time of upheaval and emotional stress. Children do not cause divorce, but are directly affected by it. Fathers Day is for divorced fathers also because of the hard work and sacrifices that we make to stay in our children’s lives. No one can take away from you that you are a parent and aid your children’s growth in dynamic ways. We may not be physically in the home, but our teachings, modeling and prayers are present in our children’s life. Our essence of what we are is shared within our children. As is states in Ephesians 6:4, “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord”, our first responsibility that we must continue to teach our sons is to be respectful in order to get respect, the importance of education to obtain a career, provide for oneself and family and putting God first in all they do. In being fathers in our deeds and duties our sons will follow as we set the example of behavior.

In accordance with our sons we must also direct our daughters to be independent thinkers and aspire to be self supportive, not leaning on being reliant on any man to always provide for them. Our daughters will seek a man similar to our actions, demeanor and emotional statues even if it is self-destructive at times. We set the foundation on whom they will look for in a mate. Just as our sons we must teach our daughters who will be mothers one day to put God first in their lives and seek Godly men. Not men who follow the latest trends in fashions, cars and other material things which are not long lasting. We must teach our little girls that they are empowered with dreams and aspirations to be successful and can be. Stated in John 10:30, “I and my father are one” Jesus makes this statement as a testimony to his father. The same holds true for fathers and their children, you are one in many ways with your children. Some of these ways are visually evident and some ways will manifest themselves as your child matures into adulthood. Through our lives we as men and fathers have obtained wisdom that we should pass on to our children.

In Proverbs 4:1-27 there is discussion of wisdom, gaining it through life experiences and reading of the Word. “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom…” (Proverbs 4:7), and share it so our children will not make the same mistakes as we have. Real fathers guide their children, helping them to “deviate from the possible path of the wicked, and not go in the way of evil men” (Proverbs 4:14). This Fathers Day and beyond be the father your father may not have been to you, be the dad that your children can be proud of and seek for guidance. This is your day to be recognized and no one can take that from you. Send praise and worship up to our heavenly father first and watch the blessings come down. Starting over is not easy, but the path can be much straighter, peaceful, comforting and less challenging if we recognize our heavenly father first and continue to do the right thing by him and our children. Divorce is not the end of fatherhood just a new beginning and an opportunity to grow, but with the proper guidance from God’s help. God Bless the divorced fathers, we are still fathers and dads in our children’s lives, but must stay involved, concerned and in prayer for wisdom and guidance.

William Jackson
william.jackson@ewc.edu
http://williamdjackson.tripod.com/
“Copyright William Jackson.
All Rights Reserved 2008."