“Experts on romance say for a happy marriage there has to be more than a passionate love. For a lasting union, they insist, there must be a genuine liking for each other. Which, in my book, is a good definition for friendship.”
“Friends accept you the way you are.”
Welcome to JUNE! My birth month and beginning of the summer party season! Yippee!
First, let me update you on the ex. He disappeared his ass back to the hole from whence he crawled. It only took the definitive response that I would NEVER consider “visiting” his home again. That is a privilege reserved for my future beloved or future ex (as the Lord decides).
I am listening and paying attention, today, right now. I hope you are as well.
I used the two quotes above because this information cannot be stressed enough. No matter how much fire, passion and mind blowing sex is involved, the bottom line is you must LIKE YOUR PARTNER.
It is a requirement. It is both the foundation and backbone of every lasting relationship. It is why my exes still call me. They consider me a friend. Yes, I am opinionated, but I don’t lie to them. I am bossy, but most women are. I am also a Boss – I run my own game and my own time.
I can dress up, but leave that to the girly girls. The men I attract can see past all the stuff I leave off and I usually find some pretty deep men. That is why I am content to wait, impatiently, but wait I will.
My history shows me the men I attract. This is my summer to let my light shine. I intend to do just that.
Enough about me, we were talking about the merit of friendship. Marriage is the only relationship that brings out the best and the worst. The worst lasts far longer in many cases. What keeps you from cutting that man (or woman’s) throat is Friendship. Given many deep breaths, a few shots of rum (cause tequila makes me fight) and some chocolate, I can let most things go, ONLY if I actually like your ass.
Trust me, the few men that I had not taken the time to develop a friendship with headed for the hills at the first opportunity after a fight. No one wants to be in the room or house with me when the blistering verbal attack begins. The attack I only unleashed on those I truly did not like.
I hope you can learn from my mistakes. Trust, I have said some pretty hateful things. For some reason, the other people seem to remember every word. Yet, I don’t remember any of those arguments.
This applies to family as well. I am sure I am not the only person who has family that are not friends. The damage is worse when it is family because what I said pops up at the most inopportune times.
Many of my writings stress being the best you possible. You don’t want to waste years of work improving yourself by allowing a bad choice of a mate destroy all you’ve worked so hard for, do you? Why allow someone who wasn’t’ worth your time before the relationship tear down the glorious you - you have become? Do right by yourself and for yourself. Be friends, first!
Enjoy your summer lovely ones. Take your time, do what YOU want! Call the shots. May your summer friendships endure for many seasons!
Thanks for reading! See you in September!
Michelle D. Smith Bio
Michelle D. Smith is a visionary and spiritual warrior seeking to share awareness with many. She has a spiritual blog and a monthly relationship column on Black Refer.com. She is a 2015 alumnae of Listen To Your Mother Baltimore. Her work has been published in the anthology Mom For The Holidays. Under her company, Angels Here To Help, she published her first channeled work, My Life As A Mermaid as well as an angel calendar for 2017.
Relationships are the fabric of life. Using different niches allow her to reach a variety of people to amuse, entertain and inspire.