“Knowledge will give you power, but character respect” –
Oh, if we only knew then what we know now. How many times has that thought crossed your mind? There is so much more I could have done with my life had I known just a smidgeon of the knowledge in my possession today.
True, this is just wasted “what if’s”, it is important for the fact that I have tried to steer my children in different directions. I do better when I know better, and so do you.
In spite of my best efforts, my children seem to want to create their own what if’s and who am I to stop them from all but the most egregious of acts? Even then, I am not the master of their ship, they must steer themselves into and out of trouble.
Not so much about relationships today, more about self-development and what it means in the long run. Yes, today, I am both older and wiser. I have developed both knowledge and character, or would like to think so. I would like to believe I will no longer make stupid mistakes. However, now, I have the clarity of mind to both SEE my mistakes and self correct.
Have you cultivated this most help trait in being an adult? I would hope if you have not, you are a work in progress. It helps when you make a mistake and know, instantly or later that indeed, you made a mistake. The willingness to say to another “I am sorry, I made a mistake, error in judgement, or just fucked up” is a grown ass response.
The wonder on the faces of others when the apology is made is priceless. Speaking personally, I have resurrected an old relationship from dust by the simple act of apologizing for my past ignorance. In this case, I plead ignorance, for this man “claimed” he loved me. I NEVER believed him. NEVER. That was until cleaning out my drawers (both literally and figuratively) I found several of his old cards. The cards were beautiful. I knew no secretary had selected these, he did that himself. You cannot imagine how badly I felt when I realized my issues were all mine. My insecurities and self-worth issues never allowed me to believe this man could actually love me. So, when he offered me keys to his kingdom, I laughed in his face.
I give him props for being a man and accepting my apology. However, before he accepted it, he did ask who he was speaking to. Really, he did. We are friendly now and I hear from him now and then. Recently, one of my girlfriends who did not know our history asked me why I was not pursuing him. I told her, been there, done that which is true. The fact that we are both different people also is why I am no longer infatuated, but I am grateful for his friendship and his wacky sense of humor.
Use this month to reflect on your own personal journey. Give yourself props for all you have accomplished. Acknowledge your shortcomings, not in a critical, demeaning or judgmental way. Be honest with yourself. If you do not have the ability to be honest with you, who will you be honest with?
Thanks for reading my article. Enjoy March and the Madness it brings!
Michelle D. Smith Bio
Michelle D. Smith is a visionary and spiritual warrior seeking to share awareness with many. She has a spiritual blog and a monthly relationship column on Black Refer.com. She is a 2015 alumnae of Listen To Your Mother Baltimore. Her work has been published in the anthology Mom For The Holidays. Under her company, Angels Here To Help, she published her first channeled work, My Life As A Mermaid as well as an angel calendar for 2017.
Relationships are the fabric of life. Using different niches allow her to reach a variety of people to amuse, entertain and inspire.