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    Relationships 901: Your Partner Is Not Monogamous: What Do You Do?


    San Diego, CA Sept 22nd, 2016. This is a hard pill to swallow, but the good news is that the person may not mean they are polyamarous. There are many reason why they ‘told’ you this…they may not mean what you heard.

    The first step is to identify why the person feels that way. If you do not know the foundation, you will not be able to ascertain whether there is hope if this is not your cup of tea. Here we have provided a breakdown of some of the possibilities. Try to identify which ones suit your partner best and then you can have a valid discussion with him or her and know where you stand and predict the future of your relationship. Keep in mind, however, that some people do not understand themselves well enough to know where they stand; it is for this reason this breakdown may be very helpful to both of you, as it lists possibilities and then goes on to further refine them.

  1. Some people are not comfortable with who they are and as a result they do not feel comfortable if someone treats them well. This is usually caused by being raised in an environment where the person did not get the validation they deserved. Perhaps their parents treated them as possessions, and not as individuals. Perhaps they lacked a parent and there was no time for them or their needs became an inconvenience. For others, perhaps they were not good at sports or had some physical attribute that made them less than popular. This then lowered their self-esteem, and as adults, they felt ‘less than’. If you now enter the picture and treat them with the respect they always felt they deserved, they may not know how to react and respond.

  2. They may feel that you, the other person, have other reasons for being with them and so do not get close to you. In today’s society, many people have turned the word ‘networking’ into a four-letter word and as a result you find that more people are crossing the boundary between the social and the business aspects. As a result, some people will do ‘whatever it takes’ in order to get something they want. Professionals who are accustomed to being utilized for their contacts, prestige, money, or other qualities tend to build a wall around them and as a result, over time, start to generalize and even tend to turn away people who are sincere because they meet so few of them and simply assume everyone wants something from them.

  3. They may feel uncomfortable with accepting the warmth or closeness you are offering. This is a close relative to the first item we discussed. In this situation, a person has either not been brought up with a lot of warmth and affection or has not encountered much in his or her adult life. As a result, this person finds warmth and closeness to be foreign, and does not know what to do with it. This is especially the case when someone comes across with “too much too fast”.

    Obviously, there is no set standard for ‘speed’, if you will, as one person may be accustomed to one speed for being in a relationship, where another is accustomed to going much slower, for example. Where the two mix, it is inevitably oil and water and if you are the faster one, you really should consider slowing down substantially because you may scare the other person, and our interviews have shown that regrettably, one can often pass the point of no return and this is fatal to the relationship.

  4. Your date/partner may feel this is a temporary situation and does not want to be close as it going to end soon anyway. This is especially common amongst people who have not had great dating experiences for one reason or another. This type of person looks at a relationship as something very temporary. If it is not going to last, just like the other ones didn’t, then what is the point in investing in it? Additionally, if is not going to last, it makes sense to play the field so at least when this one ends, there will be a soft cushion, rather than the thundering sounds of silence he or she is accustomed to.

  5. Your partner does not feel he or she has control over you. There are some people who are simply not comfortable in a relationship if they do not feel they have control over their partner in one way or another. This is a topic one can write an entire book on. However, some salient points to consider are whether you want a relationship where someone is in control, and whether or not you can negotiate times and terms as to when one partner is in control or what he or she is in control of. In other words, one can be in charge in the bedroom, the other can be in charge of family finances, and so on.

    The good news here is that ‘some’ people do not need to be in control of everything but if they cannot be in charge of certain key areas, they lose a comfort level. Your job is to extricate the areas of importance to the other person and then decide where you both stand. If only you can find out the answer as to whether your partner wants to be in charge of everything, you will be ahead of 95% of the couples that suffer from control issues that threaten their relationship.

    There are many more issues that need to be addressed with this very complex and pervasive issue that the author has dealt with on numerous occasions. They will be addressed on our next article, as this article provides plenty of information for you to get started with, and the other topics we will cover approach this situation from a different perspective.

    Relationships901 (R901.org) is a 6-hour program produced to help you overcome relationship issues in a week. Authored by golbally-known, high-level negotiator Steven Riznyk, it demonstrates, through actual event footage, how people behave when challenged. It uses conflict resolution methods created by Mr Riznyk, who has successfully resolved kidnappings, extortion, and a host of business and marital issues. The program is broken into 20-minute segments that allow someone to learn all of the information during a lunch break.

    As Mr Riznyk is an avid dog lover, 25-49% of the profits will be donated to his charity supporting abused and abandoned dogs.


    ooOoo


    Disclaimer:
    The articles on this website are provided as a community service for information purposes only. BlackRefer.com does not accept any responsibility or liability for the use or misuse of the above article content. Use this information with caution and at your own risk.

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    The Modern Trophy Wife

    (September 2016) is available at Amazon and booksellers nationwide.


    The Modern Trophy Wife


    Trained at the prestigious Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta, psychiatrists Dr. Dion Metzger and Dr. Ayo Gathing are the dream team of relationship advice. Their experience in psychiatry, couples therapy, and family therapy—combined with the priceless value of an almost twenty-year friendship, Dr. Metzger and Dr. Gathing are holding nothing back as they look to redefine the way women find balance, happiness, and valuable relationships for their lives.

    Their latest contribution, The Modern Trophy Wife: How to Achieve Your Life Goals While Thriving at Home [September 2016] empowers women to focus on self-care, healthy relationships, time management, and setting goals. As they say, “The Modern Trophy Wife is a goal digger, not a gold digger.”

    “We are both psychiatrists,” says Dr. Gathing. “This means we have the privilege of seeing relationships from both our personal and professional perspectives. We can see what works in relationship dynamics and what doesn’t. Thus, we soon realized that the questions we got most were about relationships, often from colleagues, friends, family, and patients. We decided to share our medical expertise with our personal relationship histories to provide solid advice for women.”

    About the Authors:

    Dion Metzger, M.D. is a board certified psychiatrist whose approachable demeanor and compelling expertise in mental health issues have helped her provide life-changing techniques that transform the lives of her patients. She earned her Doctorate of Medicine from Morehouse School of Medicine and completed her psychiatry residency at Emory University School of Medicine. In addition to obtaining her degrees, she also completed medical research at Stanford University School of Medicine and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Dr. Metzger has used her psychiatry experience to provide expertise through the media discussing relationships, sex, jobs, and pop-culture behavioral health topics. She has been featured on CNN’s HLN network, Aspire TV and most recently in the Wall Street Journal. She is currently on faculty as a professor in psychiatry at Emory University School of Medicine, Medical College of Georgia and Morehouse School of Medicine. She resides in the Atlanta suburbs with her husband Aziz and their two boys.

    Ayo Afejuku Gathing, M.D. is a board certified child, adolescent and adult psychiatrist. Dr. Gathing specializes in building healthy relationships and families, innovative health solutions, and the treatment of mental illness. As a professor, author and dynamic speaker she inspires others while imparting her knowledge of medicine with strategies for maintaining wellness. Dr. Gathing completed her psychiatric training and fellowship at the Emory University School of Medicine where she received numerous awards and accolades and was nominated as the chief resident after graduating with a medical doctorate from the Morehouse School of Medicine. She sits on the Behavioral Health Advisory Committee for the State of Texas legislature and serves as a Medical Director in healthcare administration where she oversees the appropriate delivery of mental health services to indigent and special needs populations. She currently resides in Atlanta, GA with her husband Jason Gathing.

    The Modern Trophy Wife (September 2016) is available at Amazon and booksellers nationwide.

    More information about Dr. Gathing and Dr. Metzger can be found at themoderntrophywife.com, and on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.


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    Disclaimer:
    The articles on this website are provided as a community service for information purposes only. BlackRefer.com does not accept any responsibility or liability for the use or misuse of the above article content. Use this information with caution and at your own risk.

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    Hopefully We Don't Break Up

    Relationship Podcast With Co-Hosts and Real-Life Couple, Giluia Rozzi and Will Miles


    Hopefully We Don't Break Up


    Giluia Rozzi and Will Miles


    "If you enjoy podcasts about love that aren’t filled with doom and melodrama, let’s hope these hilarious hosts don’t break up."- AV Club

    "In this podcast a real-life comedian couple interview other real-life couples. The results are always very raw and honest observations about modern love."-The Frisky

    In each episode of Hopefully We Don't Break Up, comedians and real-life couple Giulia Rozzi and Will Miles welcome another couple to share stories and have an honest, humorous and thought provoking conversation about love, relationships and how to make it all work. Guests range from notable entertainers to folks that have never spoken into a mic before.

    Over the past year, comedians Giulia Rozzi and Will Miles have become one of comedy’s favorite couples, known for starting up frank discussions about sex, love, monogamy and dating both onstage and off. Their openness and warmth have sparked them to create the podcast Hopefully We Don’t Break Up on Cave Comedy Radio in which they interview another couple about love, dating, sex and how to make a healthy relationship work. They have also toured theatres and colleges as couple performing relationship-focused comedy providing a silly yet sincere look at love. Recently they appeared on Refinery29’s Sexcess series and they were cast as hosts of a travel show focused on wedding and culture (the show got canned!) They are currently working both together and independently on other projects focused on this topic.

    They each bring vastly different romantic experiences to their relationship- Giulia is divorced with two long-term live-in boyfriends under her belt (those boyfriends don’t live under belt, it’s just a turn of phrase). Her past experiences have given her a very realistic view (and sometimes cynical) of relationships. Meanwhile Will has never had a serious girlfriend but has had a bevy of girls as “friends” if you catch our drift (he’s a slut). Ironically, Will is a hopeless romantic obsessed with rom coms. When they met, Giulia was very happily enjoying her first single year as an adult and was not interested in settling down. Meanwhile Will was getting sick of his frivolous hook-ups and as looking for something real. After getting super high and having an extremely open conversation at a rooftop party about sex, love and their shared lactose intolerance- the two knew they were meant to be.

    Giulia has appeared on a variety of TV shows including Chelsea Lately, Comedy Central’s This Is Not Happening, TruTV’s How To Be A Grown-Up, Vh1’s The Greatest, Playboy TV’s Foursome Walk of Shame and more. She not only has years of performing very personal and relatable stand-up, but she’s also known as a relationship expert having toured internationally with her critically acclaimed show Bad Bride that explores marriage/love and she’s been the co-host/creator of the hit sex-themed storytelling show Stripped Stories for almost 10 years. Her most popular articles on sites like Esquire, Refinery29, xoJane and Huffington Post have been those discussing relationships (her article 7 Signs It More Than Just Cold Feet is still causing her to get emails asking for love advice, three years after it was published). Last year she even had the title “Relationship Expert” under her name when she appeared on MSNBC, fancy! Her comedy album True Love was released in February 2016 and has received praise from Paste Magazine, Splitsider and others. More at giuliarozzi.com

    Will has appeared on Fusion, MTV and is a writer for The Chris Gethard Show. He also has years of stand-up experience to his name, known for his jokes and commentary on dating, sex and his love of rom coms. He is one of the co-hosts of the wildly popular Comedy at the Knitting Factory show where each week he shows off his quick-thinking off-the-cuff style and is praised for his undeniable likeability. Recently Will was named one of “The 50 Funniest People in Brooklyn” by Brooklyn Magazine and his first first comedy album Good Year debuted in June 2016. Paired with years working in education/mentoring, Will has a gift for getting even the most difficult people to open up and for offering them guidance. More at willmilescomedy.com

    For more information, go to: http://www.sharkpartymedia.com/

    ooOoo


    Disclaimer:
    The articles on this website are provided as a community service for information purposes only. BlackRefer.com does not accept any responsibility or liability for the use or misuse of the above article content. Use this information with caution and at your own risk.

    No Implied Endorsement:
    BlackRefer.com does not endorse or recommend any article on this site or any product, service or information found within said articles. The views and opinions of the authors who have submitted articles to BlackRefer.com belong to them alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of BlackRefer.com. Resources/links that may be included in said articles are only suggested as sources for the reader to explore but we can't confirm or take responsibility for it's accurateness.




    April Kirkwood Has Tips For Couples Who Work The Graveyard Shift


    The potential of living parallel lives with the partner, with no intersection or coming together- is a problem that people who work the grave shift have to solve. Most people in healthy relationships strive to avoid this possibility. But what do they do when their schedules don’t line up?

    To keep a complex topic simple, April Kirkwood, came up with a “top five” tip list of common challenges and issues of contention for partners who work conflicting day/night combinations. First up is the most obvious: partners who work contrasting shifts don’t see each other nearly as often as they would like to!

    1. Recognize that loneliness may come, and strategize about how to effectively cope with it. A woman named Jess wrote a great piece for Offbeat Home and Life (2013) reaffirming that, no, these schedules aren’t ideal, especially at first, but there are perks. Partners may have the ability to confront codependent tendencies and become more independent and self-assured. They can seek out their own friendships and hobbies—after all, you aren’t in a good place to take care of your partner if you’re not taking care of yourself.

    2. Make time for intimacy and connection. Find effective ways to have sex, make decisions, and resolve conflicts. For one couple, what were usually conflicting times of sexual arousal (before bed and in the morning) actually worked out well when their work schedules didn’t otherwise match up. Bernstein (2014) writes that “physical closeness, even without sex, stimulates the hormone oxytocin, which reduces stress and promotes bonding.” Some contact is crucial! Regarding decision making: Dr. Tina Tessina (n.d.) points out that when two partners aren’t home at the same time for days on end, some decisions will likely need to be made unilaterally, which can “create an uncomfortable change in the power structure of your relationship.” Partners need to discuss and get onboard with that reality. Tessina also spells out some great ways of resolving conflicts with schedule restrictions in the mix.

    3. Respect your partner’s sleep needs—and your own. Jess of Offbeat Home (2013) cautions that it can be tempting to wake up your partner to get him or her to spend time with you, and it can also be tempting to neglect sleep in favor of precious time together, but resist doing either of these in excess. Less sleep for either of you (or both!) can lead to chronic cycles of dysfunction and feud. In her Babble column “Love on Opposite Shifts,” Chaunie Brusie (2014) writes that a coworker was so resentful of her night shift-working husband seeming to “sleep the day away” that she started counting the hours he slept, only to find that he was sleeping normal amounts. Bonus! Enjoy a higher quality of sleep: There’s evidence to suggest that couples sleeping separately can reduce sleep disturbances (BBC News, 2009; CBC News, 2013) and actually promote peace instead of escalating tensions based on differing sleep needs (Bernstein, 2014), so to boost all of our relationship-egos April, included references about sleeping separately in the list below. I know that this largely excludes the effects of working nights on circadian rhythm and that it’s nearly impossible to revel in the silver lining when your arrangement isn’t one you’ve chosen for this reason, but it’s still worth noting.

    4. Utilize technology creatively and often. Sending picture texts or updates about your day, calling to say goodnight at a bedtime that’s not your own—these efforts can go a long way.

    5. Rekindle the lost art of love letters! Couples should write love notes often, so this isn’t something different when one’s partner goes on nights, but last year, when work schedules prevented couples from seeing one another for days on end, letters became more vivid and interesting, and couples will feel closer to one another.

    About April:
    April Kirkwood, M.Ed., has Masters degrees in both education and mental health counseling from Youngstown State University in Youngstown, Ohio. She has worked as a social worker in an inpatient hospital, as a therapist assisting treatment teams, and has led intake, discharge, group sessions and summer programs.

    Kirkwood has over 26 years’ experience as a middle and high teacher and counselor in both Ohio and Florida. She has worked as the dean for a guidance department of a K-8 school specializing in PBS (Positive Behavior Support) and peer mediation. As well as a lead English instructor for Broward County Schools in Florida, where she was instrumental in mentoring new staff in the area of raising freshman and sophomore state scores in reading and writing.

    She also has experience leading weekly court ordered parenting classes, directed at addressing school attendance issues; and has worked with inner city families as a liaison, uniting counselors, school staff and parents.

    Her new journey takes her from the shoes of educator to boots of an author and speaker, grounded in her love of the mental health field as well as sharing her personal struggles with love. Kirkwood shares insights about seldom talked about learned behaviors of ‘lust’ and ‘romance’ during critical adolescent times in the growth of each of us.

    This relatively untouched developmental milestone is key to raising healthy sons and daughters, and to heal areas in our own hearts and minds that keep us stuck in repeating dissatisfying romantic commitments. She has taken the road less traveled as a woman’s advocate bridging the world of psychology with spirituality as a therapist specializing in holistic practices empowering young and old to learn a new way of placing their hearts in the hands of the right kind of lovers.

    ooOoo


    Disclaimer:
    The articles on this website are provided as a community service for information purposes only. BlackRefer.com does not accept any responsibility or liability for the use or misuse of the above article content. Use this information with caution and at your own risk.

    No Implied Endorsement:
    BlackRefer.com does not endorse or recommend any article on this site or any product, service or information found within said articles. The views and opinions of the authors who have submitted articles to BlackRefer.com belong to them alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of BlackRefer.com. Resources/links that may be included in said articles are only suggested as sources for the reader to explore but we can't confirm or take responsibility for it's accurateness.




    Emotional Anorexia: Why Others Think you are Difficult

    By Shoba Sreenivasan, Ph.D. and Linda E. Weinberger, Ph.D.


    Relationships are not simple. In fact, the closer your association with someone, the more complicated the relationship. In any relationship, one person’s needs and expectations intersect with the other person’s needs and expectations. Sometimes it is a smooth fit; but, other times it is a rocky ride. Intimate, romantic relationships often encompass a wide range of needs and expectations by both parties, and thus, can be enormously difficult.

    Forming and maintaining loving, intimate relationships requires open communication, respect, giving of oneself, and tolerance. Successful relationships also include each partner helping the other achieve their needs, wants, and desires for themselves and as a couple. For example, a woman may want to finish her college education so that she can get a higher paying job, which will enhance not only her self esteem, but the couple’s ability to purchase a home.

    One of the most difficult areas to resolve is that of household and caretaking duties. Usually, one partner takes on the bulk of these responsibilities. And in heterosexual couples, it is usually the woman.

    While women and men want to be loving and considerate helpmates to their significant others, one party may not feel that they are sufficiently recognized for their efforts because they receive little acknowledgement. This may cause them to believe that they haven’t done enough, and so they do even more. Such thoughts and behaviors can come at the cost of self deprivation of one’s own needs. If this continues, there may be a slow build-up of resentment and anger.

    It’s important to recognize that to be loving and giving is healthy; but, to love and give at the cost of one’s psychological invisibility is clearly unhealthy. Anyone who submerges their needs to be valued, loved, appreciated, and complimented, and who suppresses their sense of being to the wants and desires of their partners, is going to risk “psychological starvation.” We call this emotional anorexia.

    When you hit that that “dark zone,” your psychological nutrition is poor. Much of what you are consuming is what we label, “high fat” negative emotions; such as, anger, worry, anxiety, bitterness, and pessimism. Emotional anorexia means that you are living in emotional starvation mode. Just as irritability and anger happen when your blood glucose levels go down, when you don’t have enough “psychological sugar” your emotional “blood levels” also go down. You don’t have the good nutrients of joy, happiness, and excitement to keep you going.

    Here are some signs that you are in emotional anorexia in an intimate relationship:

    Sign 1: You try to avoid conflict by giving in to what the other person wants (again); you stop making demands (again); yet, you feel simmering resentfulness.

    Sign 2: Soon, all you feel is deep irritation that results in an explosion of volcanic anger. Typically, this is over some small or even silly transgression by the other person, and usually occurs when you’re in a situation where you should be having fun (e.g., out to dinner or relaxing on the weekend).

    Sign 3: Now you feel guilty; you feel like the “bad guy” because you can’t “just keep things fun and light” and “always” have to “ruin” a good time by bringing up the same old grievances.

    Sign 4: You are caught in an emotional “catch-22.” If you speak up, you can’t control your emotions; and if you don’t, you find yourself boiling on the inside.

    You have now become a “difficult person” who is “unpredictable” and “overreacts.”

    What to do?

    1. Begin by stepping back and taking an assessment of your psychological nutrition.

    2. How many high fat negative emotions are you consuming in a day? How many positive low fat emotions?

    3. Don’t swallow the high fat emotions—when it hits your “tongue” spit it out.

    4. Begin to understand your emotional triggers.

    5. Change the ratio of high fat to low fat emotions, so that you consume far greater low fat emotions in your psychological diet.

    You may ask, why do we not focus on having the other party change their behavior and be more helpful? Because the desire to change oneself must be self-motivated. No one can “make” another person change. No amount of nagging, yelling, threatening, or simmering will change your partner if they don’t want to change. It doesn’t even matter if you are absolutely “right.” Therefore, if you are experiencing emotional anorexia, regardless of whether you brought this on yourself or others influenced you to “go down that emotional starvation road,” the process of change rests on you.

    A Warning: if you don’t begin the process, just as emotional malnutrition destroys the physical body, emotional anorexia will destroy all of your relationships, and more importantly, poison your spirit.

    The Pay-off: if you make the effort to consume more low fat positive emotions, slowly the light will begin to shine again in your life. Ironically, the very things you wanted--to be complimented, loved, and have your partner do good things for you--will start to happen.

    A joyful person attracts joy. Really.

    Psychological Nutrition

    ooOoo


    Disclaimer:
    The articles on this website are provided as a community service for information purposes only. BlackRefer.com does not accept any responsibility or liability for the use or misuse of the above article content. Use this information with caution and at your own risk.

    No Implied Endorsement:
    BlackRefer.com does not endorse or recommend any article on this site or any product, service or information found within said articles. The views and opinions of the authors who have submitted articles to BlackRefer.com belong to them alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of BlackRefer.com. Resources/links that may be included in said articles are only suggested as sources for the reader to explore but we can't confirm or take responsibility for it's accurateness.




    Navigating “The Talk,” with Relationship Expert Kim Samuels


     Relationship Expert Kim Samuels


    It’s been three years and your partner still looks for the nearest exit when you discuss the future! Are they more likely to book a one-way trip to Vegas, than to discuss wedding season and registering at Crate & Barrel? Conversations about the future can turn even the most collected SO, into a nervous wreck. Luckily, this advice from relationship expert and author Kim Samuels will help you navigate “the talk!”

    Be Honest
    Before you talk with your partner, give yourself some space and time to decide what you really want. This is where people most often make the biggest mistake! Don’t hide your true feelings because you’re worried they’ll run out the door screaming, it’s better than looking back and realizing the relationship isn’t what you really wanted.

    Be Indirect
    Skittish partner? Don’t dive right into the difficult conversations! Instead, try a less direct approach to a tricky situation. Is not having kids a deal breaker for you, but you’re not sure how your SO feels about the kid’s menu? Try “I love kids” and let their reaction guide the conversation!

    Be Consistent
    Understand your beliefs and why they are important to you, but don’t waiver from what you truly want! After all, nobody is worth compromising your standards.

    Kim may not be able to promise your readers a bump-free journey to happily ever after, but we promise she will keep them laughing along the way!

    http://www.singlenotdead.com/

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    Disclaimer:
    The articles on this website are provided as a community service for information purposes only. BlackRefer.com does not accept any responsibility or liability for the use or misuse of the above article content. Use this information with caution and at your own risk.

    No Implied Endorsement:
    BlackRefer.com does not endorse or recommend any article on this site or any product, service or information found within said articles. The views and opinions of the authors who have submitted articles to BlackRefer.com belong to them alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of BlackRefer.com. Resources/links that may be included in said articles are only suggested as sources for the reader to explore but we can't confirm or take responsibility for it's accurateness.




    4 THINGS WOMEN WANT FROM A MAN


    Are you familiar with A.R. Bernard? As the Founder, Senior Pastor, and CEO of the Christian Cultural Center in Brooklyn (there are nearly 37,000 members of his church), Bernard has witnessed couples in every stage of life. As men and women have come to him for spiritual counseling and advice, he’s learned patterns of behavior that are repeated time and again. After almost four decades of preaching, teaching, and counseling, he’s seen that while every situation is unique, people’s behaviors and consequences are amazingly consistent. With this in mind, Bernard has developed a simple system for understanding how couples relate to each other.

    A.R. reveals in his new book, the four qualities women want and need most from a man—qualities that make for a satisfying and happy relationship. Bernard teaches readers how to identify and cultivate these traits toward a happy and long-lasting relationship—one built to weather any storm. 4 THINGS WOMEN WANT FROM A MAN will release on April 26th from Simon & Schuster.

    Bernard has been featured in The New York Times, Ebony, Catholic New York, and The Christian Post. He was recognized as one of twenty-five leaders reshaping New York (Crain’s New York Business, September 2008); the most influential NY clergyman (NY Daily News, February 2008); the most influential African-American New Yorker (NY Post, February 2008); and New York’s Most Influential (NY Magazine, 2006).

    4 THINGS WOMEN WANT FROM A MAN

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    Disclaimer:
    The articles on this website are provided as a community service for information purposes only. BlackRefer.com does not accept any responsibility or liability for the use or misuse of the above article content. Use this information with caution and at your own risk.

    No Implied Endorsement:
    BlackRefer.com does not endorse or recommend any article on this site or any product, service or information found within said articles. The views and opinions of the authors who have submitted articles to BlackRefer.com belong to them alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of BlackRefer.com. Resources/links that may be included in said articles are only suggested as sources for the reader to explore but we can't confirm or take responsibility for it's accurateness.




    Get Inspired And Build With Marissa Nelson


     Marissa Nelson


    Marissa Nelson is the name you hear in conversation when someone is speaking about growing a relationship with their partner or themselves. Marissa offers helpful articles that provide inspiration and practical tips to help you enrich your relationships and with other people around you. The Washington native fell in love with its culture and interesting conversations from cab drivers, heated debates with friends over politics. Her advice comes from the many facets of her life, the rich experiences of people navigating their way through relationships and life.

    Her topics of discussion range from dating, family, friendships, relationships, sex and yourself. Her website gives the motivation people need on a daily to get thru their trials and tribulations which is an important guide to look to for assurance and tips on growing and being better. Marissa Nelson is definitely someone who is a leader of the inspiration world and a contributor to people bettering themselves and sparking their knowledge.

    To learn the knowledge of enhancing your growth and learning how to function in life head to her personal website: Marissa Nelson

    ooOoo


    Disclaimer:
    The articles on this website are provided as a community service for information purposes only. BlackRefer.com does not accept any responsibility or liability for the use or misuse of the above article content. Use this information with caution and at your own risk.

    No Implied Endorsement:
    BlackRefer.com does not endorse or recommend any article on this site or any product, service or information found within said articles. The views and opinions of the authors who have submitted articles to BlackRefer.com belong to them alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of BlackRefer.com. Resources/links that may be included in said articles are only suggested as sources for the reader to explore but we can't confirm or take responsibility for it's accurateness.




    Stop Looking For ‘The’ Perfect Man (He May Not Exist), Start Looking For Three Instead


    Los Angeles, CA, March 30, 2016 — Is there anything new to be said about love, sex, and marriage? YES, there is. A new novel, based on the true story of a truly modern woman, Pouline Middleton, proposes that it is time for a new model of dating for women — One Woman Three Men.

    Following a divorce and then a relationship with a cheating man, Pouline Middleton decided that trying to get all a woman's needs fulfilled by a single man may no longer make sense in today's world. What she needed and many other modern women may need to find are 3 men: one for conversation, one for sex, and a handyman to do work around the house.

    "Women are bombarded with stereotypes about love and a woman's role in it,” says Middleton. "The popular models of romance today for women are so limiting. There's the Florence Nightingale housewife model or the Lady Macbeth executive woman model. In either case, the woman isn't getting all she needs to be independent, intellectually challenged and respected, as well as loved and cherished. So why not separate out your needs, and find three different men, one for each need?”

    Given that infidelity is rampant and that 40% of first marriages end in divorce, Middleton's ideas are striking a chord in so many women who are struggling with love. "I'm not against marriage, but the fact is, most of the time, things go wrong because people have too many expectations of each other and their expectations are not very concrete. With this three-men model, everybody delivers only what they want to and agree to, and it's a win-win situation,” says Middleton. When she first published the book in Denmark, it became a bestseller and Middleton was interviewed on every major radio and TV show.

    Her novel, One Woman Three Men is being published in the US in March 2016 by Over And Above Press. The book turns Middleton's true-life experiences into a witty, provocative and saucy novel, a kind of melange of Eat Pray Love, Bridget Jones's Diary and 50 Shades of Grey. Written in the form of a diary, the main character Elizabeth experiments with the three-men model of love and sex, dating many men over the course of four months and discovering how many men believe they are a ”3-in-1” but continue to show that sex is their main priority!

    ”One Woman Three Men is a fun read,” says Middleton. ”But under the humor is a serious look at modern love and sex, and options like open relationships, polyamory, and even secret sex societies! I think single and divorced women of all ages today have a lot of choices and options for relationships, and they have every reason to rethink what they want from men . . . and how to get it. I think my book will help women everywhere with new ideas and new ways to enjoy men.”

    About the author:
    Pouline Middleton has been a Modern Love coach since 2010. Danish by birth, she holds a M. Sc. in Economics and has worked extensively around the world. She worked for several companies in sales and marketing until she decided to become a coach. Pouline actually lived with the three-men model for a period in her own life, but did meet 'the one' in 2013 and is now happily married.

    http://www.amazon.com/One-Woman-Three-Pouline-Middleton/dp/8799662906

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    Research On Relationships


    I am a college student currently doing research on relationships. I am looking for participants to take a quick and easy survey. In order to maintain the integrity of my data set, I am trying to have an even amount of participants from ethnic backgrounds. For this reason, at this time I am only seeking African American participants?

    Please take my survey at https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/FHXP7KK

    Thank you in advance!


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    MOBILE COMMUNICATION KEEPS COUPLES WHO LIVE CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER EVEN CLOSER

    University of Wisconsin-Madison news release


    MADISON, Wis. — Texting can make the heart grow fonder. That is just one of the findings of the latest research from Catalina Toma, assistant professor in the Department of Communication Arts at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

    Results show that even couples who live close to one another rely heavily on mobile media to manage their dating relationships. And that can be a good thing, Toma says.

    “There’s a sense of maintaining an emotional connection and that your partner is psychologically close,” Toma says. “It might seem trivial, but it’s really relationship maintenance.”

    While much research has been done studying the uses and effects of new communication technologies in long-distance relationships, Toma was curious about other couples.

    “I wanted to know to what extent couples who live close to one another rely on technology to communicate and how it affects their relationship experience,” Toma says.

    For the study, more than 200 undergraduate students who live near their partner answered an online survey about how they use mobile communications to stay in touch.

    A main goal of the study was to examine whether the quality of media use was associated with an increase in relationship satisfaction by boosting partner idealization, a process whereby individuals perceive their romantic partners in unrealistically positive ways. Research shows that idealization contributes substantially to the satisfaction individuals derive from relationships, Toma says.

    “Idealization is necessary in romantic relationships. If you don’t think your partner is more special than everyone else, you won’t be as satisfied.”

    The survey included statements such as “my partner and I understand each other completely” that participants were asked to grade on a scale. They were also asked to grade how much their partner meets their needs.

    The survey shows that high quality communication through mobile media fostered partner idealization, which in turn increased relational satisfaction. Mobile media use contributes to relational satisfaction and can be a practical way to contribute to satisfaction in dating relationships, Toma says.

    The most frequent medium used was texting, followed by phone calls, Facebook, instant messaging, Twitter, email, video chatting and, least of all, video games.

    The survey showed that participants spent an average of more than two hours texting with their romantic partners on a daily basis. However, this high average was due to the presence of a few outliers; the median was 60 minutes per day. For phone calls, participants reported spending an average of a little under half an hour talking with their romantic partners each day.

    “We found the quantity didn’t matter as much,” Toma says. “High quality communication was predictive of being satisfied in the relationship.”

    Both phone calls and texting were seen by partners as high quality communication methods, meaning their interactions were satisfying, rewarding and positive.

    All that texting might have some people rolling their eyes and wondering why those who live near one another need to be in constant communication.

    “There are people who view it as superfluous, but it’s not. It signals, ‘I’m thinking about you,’” Toma says. The bottom line, Toma says, is that technology is here to stay. How we use it, especially in relationships, is up to us.

    “It’s a tool, just like a hammer,” Toma says. “You can use it to break into a house or to build one.”

    To read the full report, visit https://www.academia.edu/16752532/


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    12 Surprising Relationship Tips Divorce Lawyers Could Share If They Wanted To

    By Joryn Jenkins, Esq.


    As a family law attorney, I work with many couples who have made the hard decision to divorce. Having worked with couples from all different backgrounds and age groups, it takes a lot to surprise me anymore and I’ve seen just about every reason why people decide to separate.

    While there’s nothing funny about divorce, my friends jokingly say that I am qualified to be a relationship expert with all the clients I have helped go through the process. It’s true: when you’ve worked with as many couples as I have, listening to their stories of why their marriage fell apart, it really opens your eyes to what makes a strong and thriving marriage, and what makes one not last.

    Here are 12 relationship tips I’ve learned from my time in family law.

    Understand that marriage is hard work
    Commence your marriage with the idea that you will both work together on “being married” every day. Being married is not a state of being; it is a work in progress. And it is work. So don’t ignore problems when you first notice them. Work on them before they blow up and explode. Treat your spouse like a date every day. Notice the little things that attracted you to begin with and enjoy them every day; don’t take them for granted. Don’t allow familiarity to breed contempt.

    Understand that your spouse-to-be will not change
    My divorcing clients share why they are getting divorced; they often knew about their spouse’s behavior “flaw” or their relationship disconnect prior to getting married. About 95% of the time, they believed that it would change. Your spouse will not change, and, in fact, those little imperfections will only worsen over time. Realize early what they are, and determine if you can live with them forever before you tie the knot.

    Consider whether to sign a prenuptial agreement
    It gives you a way out and marriage is a forever commitment. Do you really want that? If you’re not ready to promise that you will stay together through thick or thin, perhaps you should not get married. While most attorneys will advise that a prenuptial agreement is a wise financial move, a wiser move is to wait to marry someone to whom you can really make that permanent pledge.

    Marry someone who shares your financial views
    Money is the most common cause of divorce; folks have diverse philosophies about how to handle the finances and, once they are teamed together in marriage, never really address how to harmonize their different value systems. They start out in love, and small disconnects go unnoticed. Later, when they are comfortable, they overlook larger disconnects; later still, they discount them. At some point, their differences become too great to ignore; they can’t make excuses anymore. Because the couple has never learned to address them, the financial issues have caused rifts in their abilities to communicate, to problem solve, and to grow together.

    Decide to grow together
    Let’s talk about the finances again. Many people marry before they have solidified their views on many issues, spending included. So take classes on spending, on child rearing, on religion, and on other sensitive topics before the issues start raising their ugly heads. Get educated together. This will ensure that you both have the same information. Then decide together how you will handle complex issues, before they arise and become emotional.

    Go to a marriage counselor (of some kind) early and often
    Seeing a counselor should not be an admission of failure; it should be like signing up for guitar lessons or for Tae Kwon Do. If you can’t think of a good reason to go, I can: go to work on your communication, problem-solving, or co-parenting skills.

    Ensure that you both have the same day off once a week
    Maintaining a strong relationship takes time together. Stay in bed together one morning a week and talk, in bed. No agenda. Well, if there’s any agenda, it’s just to cuddle. If you have to brush your teeth first, get up and do that and then get back in bed. Lock the door; no kids. Cuddle. (One of you needs that, and the other one will find that s/he enjoys it more than s/he thinks s/he will.)

    Share a hobby
    Again, it is important to spend time together. You don’t have to share all of the same hobbies, but it is important to share most of them, considering that our hobbies consume much of what little free time we enjoy. Run races. Play golf. Watch movies. Play music together. My husband insists on running the weekend errands with me, instead of splitting up to get them done in twice the time. (I brag about this all the time, even though he first made this declaration 22 years ago!) Whatever interests you share, engage in them together. And if you don’t share them, then one of you must change your interest. My husband took up golf; I had no interest. But he was spending six hours every week out on a golf course somewhere so I took it up, too. I developed an interest, if not in the sport itself, at least in the nature I enjoyed while out on the course, and, more importantly, in the talking we did while we were out there.

    Shower or bathe together every day
    My husband and I purposely installed a double-headed shower. At least twice a week, we shower at the same time. It’s a great time to plan, and especially to discuss matters outside of the hearing of little ears. My associate’s parents bathed together every night, and she and her husband now follow that same practice. It is a great time to unwind. Either way, it’s easy to add to busy schedules because you both need to bathe, so you’re not adding anything additional to your schedules. And it’s good to be naked with each other every day. It is something private and special that you only share with another, so it will keep you connected. And you never know where it will lead! Which segues into my next tip….

    Never stop having sex
    It is the one thing that you share together that you do not share with anyone else. Even if you are best friends, you are more than that… you are spouses whose relationship initially grew because of your sexual intimacy with one another. Sex is a basic, biological need. As a married couple, you depend on one another to meet this need. Even if you are tired, not in the mood, or not even attracted to your spouse in that moment, make sex a regular part of your relationship. Vow to make love at least once a week. If you get to the end of a week without having done so, do whatever it takes to be intimate before the clock strikes midnight on the seventh day. It will also add an element of fun to your relationship!

    Know that the grass isn’t greener
    While it may be tempting to explore a new, exciting, attractive, and interesting person, remember that that person comes with his or her own set of flaws. The turmoil that an affair brings with it is not worth the excitement, and people do not end up any happier once the dust settles. Be happy with the one you have, and actively work together to remember why you chose each other.

    Don’t give up too soon
    Remember that you vowed to be together “for better, for worse,” and sometimes, it’s a “for worse” period. But, this too shall pass. The good times will return if you weather the storm together and don’t jump ship.

    Joryn Jenkins is a trial attorney with 35 years of courtroom experience, now in private practice where she concentrates on the collaborative practice of family law. Ms. Jenkins received her B.A. degree from Yale University and her J.D. from Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. http://openpalmlaw.com/


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    Study: Words Can Deceive, But Tone of Voice Cannot

    Voice tone analyses of therapy sessions accurately predict whether relationships will improve


    A new computer algorithm can predict whether you and your spouse will have an improved or worsened relationship based on the tone of voice that you use when speaking to each other with nearly 79 percent accuracy.

    In fact, the algorithm did a better job of predicting marital success of couples with serious marital issues than descriptions of the therapy sessions provided by relationship experts, reported in a study in Proceedings of Interspeech on September 6, 2015.

    Researchers recorded hundreds of conversations from over one hundred couples taken during marriage therapy sessions over two years, and then tracked their marital status for five years.

    An interdisciplinary team -- led by Shrikanth Narayanan and Panayiotis Georgiou of the USC Viterbi School of Engineering with their doctoral student Md Nasir and collaborator Brian Baucom of University of Utah -- then developed an algorithm that broke the recordings into acoustic features using speech-processing techniques. These included pitch, intensity, "jitter" and "shimmer" among many – things like tracking warbles in the voice that can indicate moments of high emotion.

    “What you say is not the only thing that matters, it’s very important how you say it. Our study confirms that it holds for a couple’s relationship as well,” Nasir said.

    Taken together, the vocal acoustic features offered the team’s program a proxy for the subject’s communicative state, and the changes to that state over the course of a single therapy and across therapy sessions.

    These features weren’t analyzed in isolation – rather, the impact of one partner upon the other and longitudinally over multiple therapy sessions was studied.

    “It’s not just about studying your emotions,” Narayanan said. “It’s about studying the impact of what your partner says on your emotions.”

    “Looking at one instance of a couple’s behavior limits our observational power,” Georgiou said. “However, looking at multiple points in time and looking at both the individuals and the dynamics of the dyad can help identify trajectories of the their relationship. Sometimes those are for the best or sometimes they are towards relationship deterioration.”

    The power of such methods is to help identify how domain experts can better advise couples towards improved relationships, Georgiou said.

    “Psychological practitioners and researchers have long known that the way that partners talk about and discuss problems has important implications for the health of their relationships. However, the lack of efficient and reliable tools for measuring the important elements in those conversations has been a major impediment in their widespread clinical use. These findings represent a major step forward in making objective measurement of behavior practical and feasible for couple therapists,” Baucom said.

    Once it was fine-tuned, the program was then tested against behavioral analyses made by human experts who studied the couples. Those behavioral codes (positive qualities like “acceptance” or negative qualities like “blame”). The team found that studying voice directly – rather than the expert-created behavioral codes – offered a more accurate glimpse at a couple’s future.

    Next, using behavioral signal processing – a framework for computationally understanding human behavior – the team plans to use language (e.g., spoken words) and nonverbal information (e.g., body language) to improve the prediction of how effective treatments will be.

    This research was supported by the National Science Foundation.


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    Side Chicks


    Recently the internet has been flooded with memes and tweets about "Side Chicks". A Side Chick is defined as the other woman; also known as the mistress; a female that is neither a male's wife nor girlfriend who has relations with the male while he is in another relationship.

    April Kirkwood met Franki Valli for the first time when she was eight years old. At the time Valli, lead singer of the musical group Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, was like the Rolling Stones, The Beatles and Elton John rolled into one. Eight years later, Kirkwood would lose her virginity to Valli in a local Pennsylvania motel room. "Don't do this with anyone else," she says he warned her.

    Fast forward fifty-five years and Kirkwood's book Big Girls Do Cry - My Love Affair with Frankie Valli ($12.80 paperback on Amazon) recounts her decades-long relationship as Valli's side chick, always thinking he would claim her once and for all as his wife and true love. He never did.

    A combination of an overbearing parent, conventional mores during the 1950's and a yearning for what Kirkwood thought of as a normal life, all contributed to her confusion and ultimate disillusionment with her one-time idol. "He was so glamorous," Kirkwood says about the Jersey Boys legend. "He was the love of my life, and I don't think he ever cared for me."

    April Kirkwood would be an interesting subject for an interview or a story that delves into the perspective of the "Side Chick" and how to prevent being in that position

    Today, Kirkwood still attends Valli concerts and recently tried to present her book to the ageing star but was rebuffed by security. After dealing for so long with the far-reaching effects of her star-crossed relationship, Kirkwood finally says "I am done. I am so done."

    Kirkwood lists four things she's learned about her experience:

    1. "We're more connected to early childhood memories and imprints than we are consciously aware of."

    2. "Love can be authentic for one person but not for the other. It doesn't matter to the person who is reaching out in love."

    3. "Even when love isn't returned, the pure feelings of the rejected person become a beautiful part of their histories."

    4. "Sex in and of itself is not love."

    In the celebrity-fueled headlines that center on the romantic issues of VIPs, Kirkwood's story is different - a more relatable story that speaks directly to the millions of fans of any artist or personality who after personal contact, moved from blind love to disillusionment and dislike.




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    (BPRW) New Personal Development Book by The Relationship and Life Strategist ™ Camille Sheppard-Parrish, Shows How “Successful Women Date Differently, Secrets to Attracting the Love You Deserve”


     Camille Sheppard-Parrish
    Camille Sheppard-Parrish, The Relationship and Life Strategist ™


    (BLACK PR WIRE) CALIFORNIA-- Women have gotten caught in the trap of making repeated dating mistakes by dating the same wrong man over and over again because his dysfunction felt familiar to them, reminding them of their past. Successful Women Date Differently (SWDD) encourages women to take a pause from dating uses the stories and life experiences of others as a tool to guide women in their journey of self-examination, self-discovery and self-love, which relationship and life strategist Camille Sheppard-Parrish, PhDc, MBA believe is the foundation for attracting the love that has eluded many women for most of their lives.

    Through her own pain and abuse from her past, research and work with successful women, Camille discovered an amazing phenomenon… Many successful women are educated, business savvy, suc-cessful and kind but struggle with attracting true love and building healthy relationships with a great man of good character.

    “I was so fascinated by this trend that I decided to dedicate my life to my passion and gift – to uplift and unlock human potential by motivating others to face their fears and create a mind shift that drives a transformation in attitudes, perceptions and behaviors, create a strategy and get into action.”

    It seems that in our journey for equal rights, empowerment and survival we have become so driven by success that many of us willingly abandoned our naturally feminine qualities, trading them for masculine trait competing with men because we believed that this would increase our happiness. We lost touch with the fact that our greatest power resides in our ability to show-up authentically and live in our femininity and open our hearts to being loved and while demonstrating only circumstantial masculinity.

    ABOUT THE BOOK
    This book is designed to encourage women to re-evaluate the way she loves herself and how she view relationships. It is intended for women who refuse to settle for a toxic relationship with a man that does not cherish and support her; but she cannot determine what has been holding her back from attracting the love she deserves. SWDD helps women to realize that it is perfectly fine to be single but it is not okay to be desperate and settle for any wrong man, as a showpiece just to give off a false sense of happiness on the relationship platform.

    ABOUT THE AUTHOR
    Camille Sheppard-Parrish, authentically draws from her own journey of breaking free from the pain of her past by first learning self-love, forgiveness, clarifying her purpose in life and finally attracting the love she deserves. Camille is a sought after Author, Speaker, The Relationship and Life Strategist™ and TV and Radio Personality. She is the founder and CEO of Heart Speaks Publishing, LLC, she is one of the foremost authorities committed to teaching and empowering women to get clear about their vision, shift their mindset, improve their confidence, and breakthrough to the life they have always wanted live and discover their ability to attract the love and romance they deserve.

    Camille graduated Summa Cum Laude, earning her BA degree in Project Management, MBA in Information Technology and is currently conducting research for her dissertation in Organization and Management, Leadership for her PhD. She is a certified PMP and a member of National Association of Professional Women (NAPW).

    From working with her dad as a Fashion Designer, to managing several family businesses and restaurant, wedding and event planning, fondant cake designer, trading Mutual Funds for big brokerage firms in New York City, to writing computer code, and managing and directing the Information Technology revenue cycle teams in healthcare organizations, and ministering to others, to challenging herself to obtain her PhD, Camille is living proof that it is okay to be Authentically Different!

    Camille is the creator of the unique coaching program “The Blueprint to Dating Differently ™” where she uses a no-nonsense approach to helping women do the necessary internal work to “Get Your Mind Right to Get Your Man!”

    ABOUT THE TOUR
    The Successful Women Date Differently™ Book Tour and Workshop: The Blueprint to Dating Differently will Get Your Mind Right and Get Your Man – On Your OWN Terms!

    Join, Camille Sheppard-Parrish, The Relationship and Life Strategist™ in a city nearest you for a LIVE and in-person eventthat will put you on a Proven path to Mastering Love and transform the type of men you attract and the way you connect with them. Not only will you attract a high quality man; you will discover the Secrets to attracting the lasting love that you desire. A Book Signing and Launch Event will follow each workshop.

    The workshop will be 4 hours of fun, deep connection in a safe space where you will be motivated you to date yourself, while discovering the tools and strategies that will guide you on your journey of healing, self-examination, self-discovery, self-love, while building confidence which is the foundation for attracting the love that has eluded many women most of their lives.

    Camille is dedicated to supporting you through your breakups and divorce by guiding you through a powerful transformation that will help you identify the negative thought patterns and behaviors that are sabotaging your ability to attract and keep the love and healthy relationship you desire.You will leave this event empowered by your purpose and clarity on your relationship objectives!

    For more information, please visit www.camillesheppard.com

    Title: Successful Women Date Differently: Secrets to Attracting
    the Love You Deserve
    Publisher: Motivating The Masses Press
    Available: August 31, 2015
    ISBN: 978-1628652239


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    Disclaimer:
    The articles on this website are provided as a community service for information purposes only. BlackRefer.com does not accept any responsibility or liability for the use or misuse of the above article content. Use this information with caution and at your own risk.

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    Love and Relationship Expert:

    What is the New Normal for Relationships Today?


    In today’s society, relationships across the board are ever-changing, day-to-day. Recently, theUS Bureau of Census reported that there are nearly 1,300 stepfamilies formed each day, and that over 50% of US families are either re-married or re-coupled, clearly stating that the “new normal” for modern day relationships has changed in households across the country.

    To provide further insight and tips on love and the “new normal” of relationships, Sarah Jakes Roberts, author of “Lost and Found,” entrepreneur, media personality, mother and daughter of renowned Pastor T.D. Jakes. Sarah is married to the love of her life, Touré Roberts, who is the founder of one of Los Angeles’ fastest growing religious communities, One Church LA.

    Since marrying last fall, Sarah and Touré have worked together to build the One Church community by speaking weekly on topics such as love and relationships to 5,000+ members (who include celebrities, as well as regular Los Angeles locals). One Church LA’s YouTube channel, which is comprised of their commentary, has reached over two million views within the past two years, and the average weekly online viewership of Sarah and Touré’s work ranges from 15,000-30,000 viewers. Overall, the church has rapidly grown over the years, gaining new followers daily, who are fascinated by the guidance that the power couple provides each week to families, divorcees, those going through relationship struggles and more.

    Learn about:

    · The key factors to look for when identifying your soulmate

    · The importance of never abandoning your true self when starting a new relationship, and learning how to fall in love again

    · Secrets to a Successful Marriage and the importance of teamwork in a relationship

    · Practiced tips on balancing one’s career, love life, and family

    · Bringing together blended families after parents have been divorced

    · …and more.


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    Survey Says Cellphones Use No.1 First Date Peeve

    While invites may be exchanged through text, a new survey shows that cellphones have no place during the actual date. Dating site WhatsYourPrice, found that a majority of men and women say their biggest pet peeve is someone using a cellphone in the middle of a first date.


    The first date is pivotal for any budding romance, and according to a new survey, certain actions may be preventing many singles from getting past the first meeting.

    Dating site WhatsYourPrice.com polled its members to find their biggest first date pet peeves. More than 108,000 singles responded to the question: “What actions would make you forego a second date?”

    According to results, cellphone use during the first date is the biggest peeve among singles. Americans may be spending an average of two and a half hours on their mobile each day, but to garner a much-coveted second date it might be best to keep the phones away. Among a myriad of choices, WhatsYourPrice ranked the “Top Five Biggest First Date Pet Peeves,” for both men and women.

    For Women (based on responses from 63,460 members)
    1 Cellphone use - 30%
    2 Inappropriate touching - 28%
    3 Rudeness to waitstaff - 14%
    4 Negativity - 11%
    5 Excessive drinking - 6%

    For Men (based on responses from 45,349 members)
    1 Cell phone use - 25%
    2 Rudeness to waitstaff - 21%
    3 Unengaged in conversation - 16%
    4 Negativity - 14%
    5 Excessive drinking - 11%

    “Cellphones are now a natural part of modern relationships,” says Brandon Wade, founder and CEO of WhatsYourPrice. “They play an important part in building connections, but are proven to distract from quality face-to-face interactions. The phone may have helped you get the date but it has no place at dinner.”

    For more information on the survey or to schedule an interview, please contact Hannahmae Dela Cruz at Press@WhatsYourPrice(dot)com at +1 702 241 0100.

    About WhatsYourPrice
    WhatsYourPrice was launched in April 2011, and has over 800,000 members worldwide. It is the first date-auction where money can buy you love or at least a first date. The website provides a platform where generous members can bid on a first date with an attractive member. The website gives both types of daters an advantage in the dating market, making it The Online Dating Shortcut.


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    7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Go To Bed With Someone

    by Barbara Lee


    Barbara Lee, author of the book Sacred Sex: Replacing the Marriage Ethic with a Sexual Ethic, who coaches organizations and people all around the world in making healthy sexual choices, says there are key questions we must ask ourselves before we decide to jump into bed with someone.

    Lee’s “Seven Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Go To Bed With Someone” are:

    1) Do I really want to do this?
    There are all kinds of pressures we face to be sexually active. You should never do anything you don’t want to do or are not comfortable with. If you’re having sex because you don’t want someone else to feel disappointed, angry or upset, then you aren’t treating yourself with the respect you deserve. And it should go without saying that the other person clearly has to want to do this too or it’s time to call it off.

    2) How do I feel about myself right now?
    We all have moments of self-doubt and uncertainty. Sometimes we think that having sex with a willing partner will help us to feel better about ourselves. But if you look to anyone else for validation and acceptance, you are setting yourself up to be hurt. Maturity starts with knowing who you are and liking who that person is.

    3) How do I feel about my partner?
    When we have sex, we make ourselves very vulnerable. All that we have is on the line. So we should know what we expect out of the encounter and how we feel about our partner. Just as important, you need to know what this means to your partner. It’s important that you are on the same page and have the same understanding of your relationship.

    4) Is my partner my equal?
    We can all find ourselves attracted to people with more or less power than we have, but we can choose whether to act on that attraction or not. If you have sex with someone over whom you have power or who has power over you, there is a much higher risk that one of you will be taken advantage of.

    5) Am I being responsible?
    You must be sure to take the necessary precautions not to spread sexually transmitted diseases or produce an unintended pregnancy. Safe sex keeps you alive and keeps you from starting a life accidentally. Plus you’ll relax and enjoy yourself more if you aren’t worried about the odds.

    6) Am I just as interested in my partner’s pleasure as my own?
    Sexual intimacy is a gift you give and a gift you receive. When you share your genuine needs, desires and responses with each other, sex is both self-liberating and other-enriching.

    7) Will what I am doing bring me joy?
    Sex is meant to be a joyous celebration without feelings of guilt or remorse. You should never do anything that violates your own values or beliefs. If what you are about to do is going to make you feel bad about yourself, don’t do it. Sexual activity is always your choice.


    Sacred Sex: Replacing the Marriage Ethic with a Sexual Ethic

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    When a First Date is Just a Date and Nothing More

    by Vivienne Diane Neal


    Many times, women talk about the men they keep meeting on various on-line dating sites. When these men take them out to dinner on the first date and foot the bill, they automatically assume that the women owe them a booty call. Most women cannot understand why they keep attracting these frame of mind men. And this is where examining the men’s personal profiles is extremely important.

    When a man is just seeking a sexual encounter, a friend with benefits or just a one night stand, somewhere in his personal profile, he will let it be known. But if you are not interested in a sexual relationship early on, then you have to be forthright and let the man know what you will or will not do on a first date.

    Now when you decide to compose an on-line profile, there are several key words which you can use as a guide to help you weed out those just looking-for-sex individuals. Mention what type of relationship you are interested in, and be honest. If you are seeking a friendship, a long or short-term relationship, a marriage-minded person, a lifetime partner, or an activity partner without the sex, then say so. Whether you're advertising on the World Wide Web or in a printed publication, you want to make a first-rate impression and catch the attention of the kind of person you are interested in attracting, or the one who will ascribe to the same attributes and interests that you are seeking. Some of these words can include: give, describe, mention, highlight, inform, and be and when. Of course, you may come up with other terms to help create an appealing summary of yourself, a summary that won’t say, “I am only interested in sexual relationship.”

    Finding the right person on on-line dating sites can be daunting but using common sense when searching through profiles and reading between the lines will save you a lot of disappointments on that first date. Of course, you can always go Dutch treat. This way there will be no misunderstandings or soaring expectations from the man’s end.

    Bio: Born in 1946, Vivienne Diane Neal is a writer, blogger, and an author. She is a storyteller with a wicked sense of humor, has been writing articles for over twenty years and started penning fictional short stories in 2007. Vivienne gets her story ideas from observing people, places and things and watching true TV court cases and talk shows.

    Vivienne Diane Neal
    Now, semi-retired, she continues to write short stores and articles on love, romance, relationships, and other topics of interest on her Blog at http://www.oneworldsinglesblog.net and manages her dating site at http://www.oneworldsingles.com


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    Four Solutions to Mature Sex Issues

    Dr. Kat, America’s leading clinical sexologist, offers up a few smart ways for older couples to work through common sexual challenges


    Los Angeles, California – April 28, 2015 – It’s an old wives’ tale that we are less sexual as we get older. True, there are might be a few more challenges to getting in the mood or finding a comfortable position, but we also learn to slow down and enjoy the moment — however long or short — even more.

    “We learn to truly appreciate the act and our partner with age in a way that we couldn’t have when we were younger,” says marriage and family therapist and clinical sexologist, Dr. Kat Van Kirk.

    By middle age most of people know exactly what they like and don’t like. This translates as confidence in ourselves to effectively communicate desires. Most people report that sex does indeed become more fulfilling emotionally with age. A recent study found that men and women enjoy sex well into their 80s. Much longer than originally thought. Researchers interviewed over 3,000 older adults and found 84% of men and 62% of women between 57 and 64 were sexually active with another person within the last year.

    Out of those, more than two thirds reported having sex with another person at least 2 times per month into their 70s and 50% were having that frequency into their 80s.

    The following are a few of the most common sex challenges faced as we age and a few of Dr. Kat’s suggested solutions:

    1. Body stiffness and/or back issues
    Solution: Sex furniture, swings and other aids help you get into any position without pain.

    2. A less than enriching sex life
    Solution: Tantra can help someone of any age gain more control over his or her orgasmic experience and deepen their bond to their partner.

    3. Erectile Issues
    Solution: Before you reach for that little blue pill, try cock rings and penis pumps to give you stamina.

    4. The Same Ol' Boring Sex
    Solution: Introducing sex toys can be a way to find new ways to stimulate her (hello, G-Spot) and for you to enjoy the health benefits of prostate stimulation.

    According to Dr. Kat, “Sex can still be enriching and highly fulfilling no matter your age or how long you’ve been together. Sometimes though you just need to tend to the fires a little to keep that flame burning hot.”

    About Dr. Kat
    Dr. Kat Van Kirk is a licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical sexologist. She runs the website: drkat.com and is the resident expert for Adam and Eve (adamandeve.com). She also is the author of The Married Sex Solution: A Realistic Guide to Saving Your Sex Life, and a media personality. Follow her on Facebook: facebook.com/drkatvankirk or Twitter: @drkatsexchat


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    COUPLES CHEMISTRY UNCOVERS HOW SPRING FEVER IS WARMING COUPLES UP TO INTIMACY


     COUPLES CHEMISTRY



    INDIANAPOLIS, Ind (April 9, 2015) – Things are heating up with the onset of the new season. Couples Chemistry is making suggestions for how Spring Fever can warm couples up to intimacy. As the days get longer and the sun shines brighter, the weather isn’t the only thing that improves; people’s dispositions begin to get a little “sunnier” too. Studies* have shown that an increase in sunlight luminosity is directly connected to an increase in serotonin production. The “feel-good” neurotransmitter is produced more rapidly in the brain during Spring and Summer. Scientifically, couples feel happier and more open than in colder months, and Couples Chemistry has found a way for them to raise their temperatures in the bedroom.

    Couples Chemistry’s “Under The Covers Research” of over 3000 couples has revealed key insights to help partners discover mutual curiosities that can warm them up to intimacy.

    • Have a chuckle! Partners that place high importance on laughter and shared activities are happier and more content. Only 10% of partners that say laughter is important to them are unsatisfied with their partners. Conversely, 38% of couples that say laughter is of low importance have low satisfaction with their partner.

    • Sharing is caring! Couples who hold back on sharing their wants, needs, curiosities and turn-on’s are missing out. Of those couples that do not disclose and communicate, only 38% of them have high partner satisfaction.

    • Speak up! Couples who engage in sharing their desires can experience a satisfaction rate that jumps from 38% to 60%.

    • Make it hot! Forty-four percent of couples that disclose their true desires characterize their sex lives as exciting! Only 28% of non-disclosers can say they are truly satisfied.

    • Talk dirty or not (but say something)! Nearly all the women studied said that pillow talk was an essential part of the seduction and foreplay process, and that they were entirely turned off by men who ignored their need for conversation.

    • Don’t be afraid to get emotional! In order to foster intimacy, being genuine and vulnerable is key. Forty-four percent of women said they get turned on when their partner says, “I love you,” whereas only 26% reported the same reaction to being told, “You look so hot.”

    * Based on research from the Baker Heart Research Institute in Melbourne

    About Couples Chemistry
    CouplesChemistry.com is a relationship-building Love Kit dedicated to serving married or long-term-relationship couples who want to achieve deeper intimacy through expanded communication, play and trust. The company uses a patent-pending methodology with product that is curated under the guidance of leading sexual psychology experts, including The Kinsey Institute, the world’s largest and most reputable organization studying sexuality, gender and reproduction. The kit is built based on each partner’s individual answers to a private and provocative online relationship questionnaire and merging the responses together into a summary report that is sent to the couple. The couple then has the option to purchase a customized Love Kit that reveals their top mutual intimate desires—the contents of which remain a mystery up until the box is delivered to their home.




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    March is Spiritual Wellness Month - What’s Your Message?


    What’s Your Message?
    Terry Barnett-Martin, LMFT


    March is Spiritual Awareness month, a time to gather the holiness within us and grow it. We are all connected by a common thread of spirit and humanity that runs through our souls. We each hold a piece of the big puzzle of life, and all of us are needed to complete the picture. God is both intimately close to us, and beyond measure in reach and love. We are extensions of God’s own love, and we each have a specific reason for being here. Put simply, our common purpose is to love ourselves and others to the best of our abilities. Our paths are all different, as are the gifts and talents we have to offer. When each of us aligns with our unique purpose, things tend to fall into place.

    We are the chosen ones, all of us.

    “To be chosen does not mean that others are rejected.” Henri Nouwen

    We are all chosen and we are here at this time, in this place to do something specific, to share a message, to bring out the best in others, to serve in some way or another, the goal of love.

    Life can get so busy and crowded that if you aren’t careful to carve out quiet time, it’s almost impossible to hear your own voice, feel your own heartbeat, and see your own path.

    Where is your center, the place where you are strong and steady on your feet? Where is your ground? Stand on that, and it will balance and root you to your best self, to your soul. The truth is that you were born beloved and already perfectly you. To the extent that you were encouraged to be you and not just the reflection of those around you, you came to know and love yourself. However, even with the best of parents, family and community, you can get lost from yourself in an attempt to please or protect yourself from others, and that takes you on a road far from the best of your true self. It’s time to reclaim and cherish yourself, and know that you here for a reason.

    What is your Message?

    A conk on the head and a near death experience showed me my purpose and left me with a message to share… It was a sunny, but cold January day in the Southern California mountains, where I was hiking up a steep and rocky mountain with a couple of friends. We had packed a simple lunch and planned to climb to a large boulder about 3/4 of the way up the slope, and eat as we took in the view. I can remember looking up to the boulder to gauge how far we needed to go, and then my memory gets fuzzy. I think we were about half way up the mountain when a large rock bounced down from above us and hit me squarely on the forehead. I never saw or felt it hit me as it took a piece of my head with it, nor did I feel my body as it bounced down the mountain like a rag doll. The instant the rock hit, I was mercifully out of my body and onto a journey I will never forget.

    I was immediately drenched in an indescribable light and felt an undeniable unconditional love. My fear of death immediately disappeared as I conversed wordlessly with God, Spirit, Love. I knew I could remain there in profound peace and comfort, but I came to understand that if I chose to come back, there was something very important for me to do here. It was only minutes that I was gone, but it was enough time that I felt renewed and filled up. Curious as to what I was meant to do here, I decided without question to return. I came back that day with the words “There is something very important for you to do here”, etched on my heart. Despite the long recovery from my injuries, that brush with death has stayed with me and given my life meaning. As time has passed, I have realized my purpose in surviving that freak accident was is to bring those same words to the people I meet.

    So, I am saying this to you…there’s something very important for you to do here. You have a purpose and you don’t need a conk on the head to know the special message you have to share with others. When you give yourself time to be quiet and listen to your inner voice, the message will be waiting there. Messages, like purpose, often come from overcoming adversity. Whatever your struggles, they are the gateways to your wisdom, the training ground for your strength, and your inspiration for courage. Once you understand the meaning they have for you, you can let go of the struggles and hang onto the messages they have for you, then share the messages with others who might be facing similar pain or hardship.

    Don’t Vanish Into the Crowd.

    You are here, now and always, to be uniquely and wholly yourself. No matter your circumstances, choose to be around people who support you and believe in your uniqueness. Gather around people who love you and bring out the best in you. And be that for others. If you aren’t sure of your purpose, look to those who need what you have to give the most, and they will show you which way to go. Gather your courage, take a chance, and reach out. Please don’t vanish into the crowd, trying to be like everyone else. The world needs the real you.

    Let kindness in, don’t be suspect of it.

    The world is both a wonderful and confusing place these days, and it’s often hard to know what and who to believe. So, believe in yourself, take the time and space to know what you stand for and what matters most to you. To the best of your abilities, live focused on kindness and love above all else. Kindness is the true currency of life; it is available to all of us all the time. As much as possible, look for opportunities to extend kindness to others and let the kindness of others in. It changes everything.

    Terry Barnett-Martin, M.S., LMFT is a relationship counselor in private practice in Southern California. She is an openhearted, intuitive practitioner and writer who is dedicated to helping people find the purpose and path in their life and relationships.

    Website: http://www.tendingfences.com; http://www.truepurposecounseling.com

    Tending Fences: Building Safe and Healthy Relationship Boundaries; The Parables of Avery Soul can be purchased from www.amazon.com and through major booksellers



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    Why can’t we talk about sex toys?


    The award-winning British sex-toy brand Hot Octopuss has just launched an initiative inviting people to join a global conversation to talk honestly and openly about their sex lives in order to improve their relationships.

    The #SexNotStigma campaign kick-starts the conversation with a video showing couples talking frankly about sex and how introducing sex toys to the bedroom has changed their lives for the better. People are invited to join the conversation on social media using #SexNotStigma.

    Here is a link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JVyXn30kWA


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    EuroDate Hosts Global Valentine’s Party Online with Chance of Romance for Singles Worldwide


    Global online dating site EuroDate is gearing up for a festival of passion to remember this Valentine’s Day as singles across the world get ready for a romantic session to remember. EuroDate, a refreshing and unique online dating service, aims to give people the chance to celebrate with dreamy singles across the time zones and find their ideal match on Valentine’s. This exciting opportunity adds a multi-cultural and multi-national twist to this year’s day of love.

    “We want everyone to relax and have fun this Valentine’s on EuroDate as it’s the best way to find a match from across the world,” says the Chief Communications Officer for EuroDate, Ashley McKenzie. “Valentine’s Day is a joyful time to get together, forge new friendships and start something special with a new partner. We expect the online features to light up during the romantic celebrations across the world.”

    EuroDate is a great way to discover passion across the world and meet a fine choice of eligible singles ready to start a new relationship. There are people on the website from every continent which makes for a very interesting way to communicate and date online. Proactive singles can enjoy the Instant Chat feature to talk online and exchange Valentine’s wishes using the offline Correspondence service. It’s the dream way to set up a love-filled adventure with a like-minded match in 2015.

    EuroDate aims to match up as many love-struck couples as possible during the Valentine’s celebrations and attract even more members from across the globe looking to find a great bunch of new people.

    To find out more about this opportunity please visit www.EuroDate.com

    About EuroDate
    EuroDate is an exciting dating service that connects over 40,000 global singles to each other in an easy to use online environment. Members can quickly and securely set up a profile and immediately begin searching for their perfect partner. Of course, starting a relationship and building it is more complicated than that, so EuroDate has a robust chat and messaging system that keeps singles connected 24/7.


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BLACK / AFRICAN AMERICAN RELATIONSHIPS
   

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    Ongoing column on Abusive Relationships.

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    A blog about relationships, parenting, kids, romance, advice, Q&A, black families and life!

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    Play Erotic Influence, the Adult Lovers Card Game. Love Hard, Foreplay Harder.

  14. Hey Rachel...
    This is a site where hip women from all walks of life can receive hard hitting advice regarding their relationships. They are free to ask any questions as it relates to relationships or they can just join in and comment on advice already given to others. There are also various other topics including Celebrity Sista Drama, Rachel's Vent, New Relationship Lingo and more!

  15. Making It Last Forever ...
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    DNA Paternity Testing, Maternity, Sibling-ship, Grand-parentage and immigration genetic testing.

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    Motivational speaker, about relationships from with oneself to intimate relationships. M.O.S. MAGAZINE monthly print. Go to the website to order your copy.

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